Jahi Gilkey @YUNG_GILK
Darlene Desmangles @LENEBEAN_
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♡ Life is so incredible for our little growing family!
TWINFO: ♡ 10 months
Journie Dior Born 1st
Jiya Dallis Born 2nd
Born December 28, 2018 at 30 weeks 4 days – – – original due date March 4, 2019
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I want them to know that I've done with it took to take them from a lot of things that I've experienced a lot of the lessons that I've learned and try to raise them to be god-fearing individuals humble individual young ladies and to just understand that everybody has their own journey so do not be judgmental I want them to see me as someone who is strong and someone who overcame a lot primitive to even be here and a lot for them to be where they will be years from now there's a lot that goes on behind the scenes of being a mom in general but still have a life and to raise kids is a different type of responsibility that I don't think you ever really understand it to become a parent and I really want them to grow up understanding and a love for me for that sacrifice there's nothing I hate greater when it's time into my family I keep my girls right by my side like a family Johnny crawling to the sauna she's so fancy daddy came up first so she saw unlike her daddy my girls the world of making happy you said I'm a girl I can't wait till we can marry come for anything I'm running for best thing about it I can never repay you being a mom make me worry too much already I mean I feel like no matter where you go you're gonna have to always be careful your surroundings be careful everything that's going on but all the massive school shootings and anything that can happen but I just feel like the opportunities are a little bit more limited on the west side and I definitely won't want my daughters to be exposed to a lot more than I wasn't exposed to I feel like being on the north side or in the Midtown area of Atlanta I get to see a lot more I get to see more opportunities healthier stores but even when you overeat over here so much fast food is liquor corners every single where you turn I don't really see that where I'm in now and I don't really want my daughters to be exposed or overly exposed to stuff that they don't need to see to at a young age because right now we're in the age of social media a lot of kids aren't pression about a lot of people doing stuff things they don't have no business doing because it's readily available drugs and all that stuff it's readily available at kids fingertips over here on this side of town and I would just prefer for my kids to you know not have access to it as easily you just like I said you can't help who your kids go to school with the other stuff the joke that people may bring to your kids and stuff but you know I just know me personally with my experiences I saw too much as a child I saw too much of kids were a look to grown people are a little too fast and people had to grow up I saw kids having to be parents and adults today little siblings and stuff like that and you know me personally I just knew I had to have my mind right be a lot more street smart where I was and I couldn't really think like a child and be innocent as a child as much as I would like to be in us as a child on the west side of Atlanta and I just I want my daughters to have to experience nothing like I don't want them to have to be rushed into growing up and so don't hood I'm worried about things that they should have to worry about as a child just because of their environment just because they can't really control the other stuff that people may bring to them or bring to their attention and also the heavy judgment Joe is quisha I feel like sometimes I feel like I don't even know I like to shout out to my youtube channel like I feel like I want to be a great mother I want to be god-fearing as much as I possibly can I want to be a great daughter sister brand you know want to be a great businesswoman but when you actually look at it and break those things down and their own entities sometimes I feel like I fall short I think that overall I'm just me I'm just really seems like it's a complex answer because there's so many different facets of Who I am I've grown up and I don't so many different things so I can't just say you know one or two words to describe Who I am I just feel like you got to really hear my story to understand who I am I don't feel like there's just like words that could you know summarize Who I am as a person I just feel like my story is who I am that really defines me I think for me my whole life was with women and at a pointed that I had to come to a reality that it was more so that I thought at first I was just been in the toxic relationship and that's the reason why things weren't working out once I started to reflect within myself I noticed that it was more than a toxic relationship with other people I was in a toxic relationship with my own self I wasn't living in my own truth and I didn't want to admit it so many people rely heavily on me for my platform so many people rely heavily on me for being proud of who I was or who I thought I was at the time and and that just wasn't a true reality for me and I I realized towards the end of my last relationship that I had to start living for me I had to do what made me happy I had to make decisions for myself and I moved forward with what I knew would make me ultimately happy and not worrying about what other people would think people have been studying me investigating me and just trying to frickin figure out every little bit in piece of my life which I definitely understand because I have been very open with you guys for the last how many years I've been when you're like 29 years I've been very very open with you guys about every single thing that goes on in my life so I understand how you guys can be curious about what's going on when things look a lot different and um all of that after I realized that I have to do this for myself and this is not this is not for my family my friends or my subscribers to come in and dictate how I deal with certain things that that make sense like he/she has to deal with those things and once Keyshia has dealt with those things Keyshia can be a happier stronger person and let her friends her family and now my subscribers helped me to deal with those things as well apparently you know that decision caused a lot of controversy you know Tia pays you probably traffic to your pay so do you think that it brought like a positive impact or overall how did it impact you know your career initially I thought that people would support me being true to who I was since for so long people already tried to cast me as you know a fake lesbian or you know this is just temporary or she doesn't really know this is just a phase so I thought when I came forward and said you know I think I do want to be with the guy I think this is the path that I want to go down people will embrace it and I think people just hopped on the bandwagon because it was different they saw me in one way for so long and people were so curious as to you know how it's keeps you're gonna be with the man like let's see how different she's gonna behave or let's see what kind of guys she's interested in not necessarily supporting me and uplifting me in my decision just more so judging me for being in my truth don't play with him me and quisha a week we first met in high school but you know you know I just hope it just means like y'all my best one thing I'm in Vegas right now likes you want to hang out when I got home I'm gonna do it but honestly I kind of like pain I came home I wasn't really trying to you know set it down no girl you know I just got home from school do it understand I wasn't gonna hang out a little but I she takes it again she like that don't don't play forever like she was serious about stuff I thought I liked it so fun and we hung out like the next the next day or whatever once I saw her and I got her I got in the caucus you gotta pick me up I just I was looking at and I was just there out here and literally he got back and the next day he came with me to get baptized so he was there hand in hand with me getting baptized just like that and that was just different for me we Casillas on your balls oh I know you ain't on the ball hog but instantly when I started talking to him I said Jeremy is so different like he was so funny and he was so charming like opening all doors filling up my gas tank for me picking me out like we could just laugh I could just be myself I didn't have to worry about anything like I was just me I was talking about how my ex never even wanted me to go out because I didn't smoke I didn't drink so they try to make me feel like I wasn't fun enough or you know my girl is lame and I used to hurt me a lot and he just like girl let's get on the next flight this is my first time in Miami if I didn't tell you guys and I was able to make a lot of first memories like jet skiing a lot of the restaurants a lot of the things that my girlfriend says it was just kind of like you know I we was together for you know a little minute but in you know we don't experience a lot of stuff together been through a lot of stuff together like a boyfriend and girlfriend wouldn't pay so I just felt like it was on the right for me to actually be my partner in it honestly to keep it real I feel like they're an excuse will kept me I drew me towards her more okay just like it's just like if you care about a person cuz like I mean I care to like it was cool way before we even kind of relationship so is I we care about a person you see it like I'm going through something you know my friend I just run away from me so I was like that kind of like you know saying gee we towards hurt more forever I know you can get in school and I just I was have a person she was and you know I just not I just couldn't definitely leave the situation ever had someone support me as heavily as Jeremy did people didn't even really see like I work really hard for what I do and people have sabotage me and my and my career when I've tried to help people people have manipulated me because they knew I was the easy target and Jeremy he came in and he was there he was present he when I handed out flyers for me for my hair company like different colleges and a hot Sun he promoted me like nothing before and people were so critical of him like you don't post on social media so you must not really like her but he was present in real life if it is day right most people get in the door and I you start where you live with people you really find out who they are I've never had never experienced and with nobody nobody that were kind of like woke me up and be able to say that you might be able to make it tomorrow man ok what red carpet are you talking about hey are you recording me right now you know I'm nice it happened so fast we weren't trying to get pregnant the first time and I was so excited when I got pregnant I always wanted to know like how would it feel being pregnant or you know like what's gonna happen you know I've always wanted to be a mom I just couldn't wait to even get the end of the birth so I could meet my baby so it was such a joy for me when I found out that we were pregnant my best friend came over we planned out this whole thing to show him and it was just so exciting and just as quickly as I found out we were having a child it's as quickly as the child was gone just that fast she took my blood and that's when the lady came in talking randomness and and like I said I don't remember how she told me but some kind of way she ended up telling me oh you miscarried and as far as me and Jeremy was concerned he was I just remember him feeling so bad for me I didn't want to accept it and and he had to accept the reality for the both of us it was it was it was it was kind of I felt like I had you know like be there for her emotionally to like did it kind of like a failure come on let's get it together like we're gonna be okay just not gonna kick like he's not gonna miss you can always you know have another kid I try for her the key you know is what God saw fit for right now you know we had a conversation and I said this is something you know that I really really want and I want to know if you feel the same way about me that I feel about you was having a family and settling down and he said yes and I knew that there was gonna be a light at the end of the tunnel so the depression that I thought I was about to be in from losing that child instantly went away once he told me that he knew that he wanted the spinor SS life he wanted me to be the mother of his kids and we could try again for another child when I became pregnant again it was definitely a lot more challenging than I thought it would be I thought it would be easy breezy I thought it would be like here's my rainbow baby you know we were finally pregnant again I'm so excited and instantly like reality hit me that I was pregnant and it was so much pressure on me that I felt like I shut down a lot in my relationship I felt like I shut down a lot from my friends and my family because a lot of them have never experienced a miscarriage and definitely definitely not a public miscarriage and it was hard for me to accept that I was pregnant again because I was still stuck in the miscarriage that I was at fear every single day constantly that I'll miss Carrie again it was it was those I was everything idea but I was nervous and I was I ain't know where my head can't really wrap around a lot of stuff but just this is my first time you know every corner for this type of situation you know especially being play-by-play you know I had to learn how to care for someone who tells the needs and emotions before most of the time we couldn't be sexual throughout our pregnancy I was terribly sick so I couldn't do absolutely anything I didn't really want to kiss I didn't even want him to touch me and we weren't used to that and I thought that well this is something we both wanted so we both knew it could come with being pregnant he thought well this is something we both wanted so you knew that this was something that could happen but you still have a role to me as well inside of challenges you know you never faced before you know I'm a man so it was just kind of like you know what about me no I'm I'm here I'm waiting to go every need you know but she sick all the time you know she business of my frustrations and and my team is that I fight you know a that was a perfect time I'm saying I was fucking okay that was the perfect time for them coming you know and just you know a man this do this do that after that conversation he pretty much assured me you know there was just lust and it will probably fade away but he loved me nonetheless and he doesn't regret you know deciding to have a family and you know we were gonna work things out we're gonna move through it it was okay and this is the same day as my best friend's bachelorette parties and we were at the condo where we were going to have the bachelorette party I did not plan it so I didn't know of the neighborhood or anything of that sort but once we got in our car we were sitting at the elevator I'm waiting to go up and he should had just called me and said that she was about to pull in finally she was on the way so we're kind of waiting on her as well but right before she pulled in I seen a car that looks very similar to Jeremy's keep in mind we're in a parking garage and for a neighborhood like if so its visitors and residents in this neighborhood I'm so I seen a car pulling it looks just like Jeremy's and he rolled right past us so I was able to see that it was in fact Jeremy I just understood my I just lit I just felt I felt and I live you know I let my inner demons take over Monday morning she text my phone and said you know I'm your best friend and I just want to let you know that I saw a female in Jeremy's car over the weekend I told her be he mentioned it was a girlfriend in the front seat and she was like no he said that was his homeboy girl or whatever and she went ahead and asked him about that and I guess he had other stories the backup why this girl was being in the front seat I mean you know I was just you know I was I was you know conversing you know with another another friend or whatever to get pregnant and for him to make a decision to get closer to another woman when I needed him most there's like a my I'm stuck here I can't I can't be you know set like satisfied you know men who selfish like were selfish beings you know so it was like I couldn't see past with the real objective was a situation was so you know I just you know I like I said I feel an area you know so that taught me you know a lot about myself and a lot of other things that I wanted life it was really hard seeing that she was like during pregnancy it's such a like critical moment not any stress and it hurts me so much that she was stressing out about this situation simply because like she was really going through it and he wasn't really there for her in this moment I was there for her like she confided in me she didn't talk to me like a situation because it is a embarrassing situation you can't really you don't over the trust in situations like this so because I had first on seen it and then we went through it together she was able to confide in me I didn't look at Jeremy the same for a while it's honest as he was every day you know he still kissed me and he still loved me you will bring me roses home and I knew that with his character but I just wanted to know how could he love me so deeply but be so out of reach with our relationship especially in such a joyous time I had to understand that this was just something we were going to have to get through and if we couldn't get through it then it would be okay at least we tried at least I was woman enough to accept everything that came with my relationship for what it was instead of ignoring it is it I know what I want to know you know so this is already started on what you want sentation you know the other stuff like it really it really goes away like you really started mature you know saying like the pain is myself extra set up now you know I'm a little and sorrow I just gotta you know do the things that I need to do my family you know just for them to come out happy and healthy baby it's just a love that everyone deserves to experience and that just really made what me and Jeremy went through all the more worthwhile well we got to see our prize at the end when we got to see exactly what like we created and we knew what role we have to play in these young girls lives he should just learn an amazing job raising two girls tisha I have witnessed her birth team she is so hands-on with those girls like being are progressing so we'll judge yourself judge yourself just no one else but yourself or you where you want to be are you learning what you want to learn do are you giving the love that you won't return together look at all this and Keisha she instill that in them what she has in her those two little girls would be just like the mom we understand that we are all one you know like like even our kids like they like them being here they allowed us to all good ones once we had the kids I just that's why I just felt like because me because because I I just I don't know any kind of kids I always like wanted to make sure the mother my kid is gonna you know no matter what happens to me like I'm always know that they're gonna be good because I know the mother my kids it's amazing he's something you really gotta love that kids and you're really not your kids right you gonna do whatever you got whatever sacrifices you got to do to make sure you know they're there they're gonna be good at another day you know and I'm not on the way that can be good is for me to be here and be here long enough to make sure that you know they taught me just how precious life is I know usually when you are going through life there's always goals that you want you may want you know more shoes a higher degree you may want you know a new job you may want you know a new business for yourself there's just always something you want this sometimes you forget to appreciate the now I think our girls have definitely allowed me to appreciate them now and to love them deeper than I could ever do for my own self when I look at my daughter's I see Keisha like you know and these are my angels right I can't imagine life without her would execute to be honest in his mind when I see them I see her and it's just like you know that just it just brings a warm loving feeling what I'm saying to me to know that they are her kids too you know and we we created this special blessing you know together so you know it just made me realize you know what she really made something for them I want to say about 90% of my registry was purchased from my subscribers 90% plus more I felt so whole knowing that they were loved not only by me and their father and our friends and our family but they have a whole other village of Internet supporters who truly care about them being here and being in this world and being happy and having everything that they need I've never seen something like that and that's when I knew that my good outweighs my bad on my platform despite all the negative when you speak on it and when you pay attention to it that's when it seems like it's out when the good but when you think about it and you really put things in perspective the way that they are my good definitely outweighs my bad and she kind of prepared for this as a career while she was in school watching kids to make money and so actually she would talk to me about that but you know she was doing it to make money and it's flexible to do while she's in school but then it would also be preparing her to have her own children so that she could learn from other parents and then have the hands-on experience so she's she's intentional she's doing her best and she's trying and I think she would like help and guidance and so if people really want to help she'd be willing to listen because she wants to be the best parent like all his demons she's battled alone strictly alone in this world and they it goes her success it goes strictly to her success who she is now that she had to deal with that shit along and she went through everything she went through alone and I don't think she would see that it's like I'm not gonna she is at all I think Keisha was conducted by one of the diamonds that she wears around her neck like something that she had to go through to be where she is today so yeah I in Keisha I am and moving forward whenever people ask who is Keisha I just hope that people could have watched this documentary and been never the fool that I'm human just like you cleaning these bottles out for you guys okay the milk is on his way that's cool but you know what I'm doing you know I get up and I do this I understand that bitch but I understand it but bad but I understand it but a nigger can't nigga can know what they're doing stealing I do it I understand it but just by me but having to do out it please don't people just were like okay nigga you can know how much the Bupa is you doing it up they don't even matter though they don't even matter though because they ain't it you know you wake up every single day and they don't see that type of an understandable is not a point that needs to be proven but I'm just saying for them to understand and hold what you do as a father I'm not better talking about it weird to different people I don't care about putting out a shit and what they say about are they on social media right I don't as long as you know that I'm here every day doing I put a do for them that's how I give a fuck about I'd like to keep it real part of my friends but I'm just being real like I don't I don't care to explain this shit to these people as pleasure I don't my father's I'm a damn good father so I'm definitely so I definitely give a fuck about what they got to say they're gonna say what I want to say anyway Blanca's you everyday lights how do you feel about it [Applause] [Applause] you eat make sure you let them know you about to pay then I got there he told me he was blessed by God he's still in subscribe or follow me we gonna call him out and you can get booted out the line no you're looking up your big vegan yatta real vegans on the other line all these fake being is on their staff they fake vegans up there he halfway believe in God cuz he didn't want to follow me wait Darlene directed me because I've seen you working on the ground I mean doing you see what I hit his name when you both know that my babies they got the best new then kiss actually okay Papa Jesus Jeremy pop-up five-block Jesus and look mom they're gonna turn no which are turned outward oh yeah that's the blue for your hands that is a blueprint for your head cardi B clap step approach alone while she's not going on tour card is tired of the lies exclamation point yeah but like I think it's hard you're not gonna see the cat how you want to live you got so much bad under there Ryan is the name bro blue my business and I'm just I hope that you pulled it from that yeah and I got my hair wet I got my hair wavy I got my sexy outfit oh no shade this in my way no I'm Keisha wait k oh yeah and that's how we lo now I don't own you to my voice my name is chika they thought I was Kaley really my middle name is Shawn say it's crazy guess what I think I was good enough word I should be a rapper yeah I think I could have been a rapper in my early life I really think I can be better than cardi B my name is Keisha and this is my truth I'm sitting in this room but it should have been a booth all I know it's all eyes on me I don't know how to rap and I'm kind of sleepy I want to go in her room and be with my babies my man is that serious and he's doing something crazy like rapping but putting not no music to his fans cuz everybody know where he dude they gonna dance Oh